Dialogue from The Urbz

A collection of Giuseppi's dialogue in The Urbz: Sims in the City.

• Introduction

  Hey, I'm Giuseppi Mezzoalto. Have we met somewhere before? My memory is hazy... ever since I got out of the SimValley slammer, I've tried my darndest to forget my past.

• Greeting

  • What's the good word?
  • Hey [Player Sim]! Great to see you!
  • Hi there. Long time no see!
  • How're you doing, [Player Sim]?
  • Hi, [Player Sim]! I was just wondering what you were up to.

• Talk about art

  Yeah I know about art! I've handled all kinds of masterpieces, from paintings to sculpture to... ah, never mind.

• Talk about sleeping

  I sleep light and with one eye open. I had to, growing up with 4 brothers. They could be mean, I tell ya.

• Insult

  That was good, but a better one would be: You're so dumb you sold your van for gas money.

• Talk about construction

  I think working construction is going to be my next career move. I mean, I already know how to lift things.

• Talk about cooking

  Let me tell you something: my poppa, he made the worlds greatest strawberry tiramisu. The way he mixed strawberries, vanilla, and flour together, you'd think he had a magic wand!

• Talk about the law

  It seems like there are two sets of laws in this city: The ones that apply to me and the ones that apply to everyone else.

• Entertain

  Whoa, look at that! You can make money just disappear! I used to be good at that too.

• Cheer up

  What on earth could you say that would cheer me up when there are people starving in this city? People like me!

• Joke

  You're funny to me, kid. You amuse me. You make me laugh. Ha. See, I'm laughing.

• Talk about theatre

  I haven't been there in years. I thought that building was a yoga center.

• Talk about ninjas

  Yes, I have seen the ninja. We met in the darkness of night. But without saying a word, the ninja vanished.

• Talk about simoleons

  If there's one good thing I learned from my past it was saving money. If there were two things I learned, the second was how to spend it.

• Talk about aliens

  I know for a fact that aliens might exist. Okay, so I'm dodging the question. But it's true.

• Talk about the supernatural

  It's good to believe in a higher power, yeah? I mean, if this life is all there is, man, I'm asking for my money back.

• Talk about hobbies

  I've been trying to find a hobby I enjoy for years. I mean a legal one. So far, no good.

• Apologize

  Hey! What are you doing, kid! Never apologize! Otherwise you'll never perfect your Moogoo Monkey face.

• Talk about the weather

  Have we stooped so low that we have to talk about the weather? Shame on us [Player Sim].

• Call name

  That's a good start, kid. But if you really want to insult someone you have to talk about his appearance or his mamma.

• Talk about dancing

  What, are you kidding me? I'm no wind up toy!

• Talk about music

  In high school I was in a band called "Show Cancelled". We were good, but for some reason nobody ever came to watch us.

• Give an opinion

  You have a good point there. I never thought of comparing life to a box of chocolates, but that sounds okay.

• Compliment

  Yo! What are you trying to do fool? Get my head knocked in? You show any sign of kindness and the thugs in this town will pounce!

• Talk about shopping

  The best shopping tool I know is the old five finger discount, know what I'm saying? Of course... that's why I went to jail.

• Annoy

  Knock that off! Get that finger out of your nose! You got to intimidate people, not gross them out!

• Talk about jobs

  In my opinion learning Moogoo Monkey is the best career option in town.

• Talk about science

  The only invention worth anything was the forklift. Everything after that was just an upgrade.

• Tell a secret

  It warms my heart that you can trust me so much. Sadly, I can't say the same. But never mind that.

• Cry

  Aw, come on! Don't be ridiculous! Stop it already!

• Talk about the university

  I decided not to go to college after I found out they didn't offer a "Secret Agent" degree.

• Talk about the river

  It's a river. So what? You think maybe I dumped something in there? Some money maybe? Get out of here!

• Talk about jail

  I did a stint in jail last year after some kid caught me... uh... rearranging my friend's apartment.

• Talk about cars

  I used to own a van. She was a real beauty. I named her Tristam. Oh the times we had before the bank repossessed her.

• Intimidate

  You're getting the hang of it! Now growl! Make me believe you're fierce. That you don't take nothing from nobody!

• Talk about work

  I'm an official mover these days, but to earn a little extra cash I do a few... what should I call them? Side-projects?

• Talk about the lounge

  The Casino is where it all goes down, you know what I'm saying? Crazy mad things happening in that place.

• Talk about TV

  I spent more time carrying televisions than I do watching them which is fine by me. You can't get paid to watch TV.

• Talk about games

  I like the simple games, you know? Cards, dice, water polo, easy stuff.

• Talk about health

  I haven't been to a doctor or a dentist in 10 years. But who cares! I feel great.

• Talk about home

  I'd rather not tell you where I live. It's an embarrassing little hole for one, and two, I don't want you bugging me.

• Talk about computers

  I know a thing or two about computers, yeah. I know how much they sell for. But can I use one? Forget about it!

• Talk about the newspaper

  Ever since my face appeared on the front of that paper I haven't had any desire to read it. Bah!

• Talk about politics

  C'mon! Really? Am I a bigger crook than the crazy people that run this town? I don't think so!

• Complain

  You dopey amateur! I've seen squirrels with more patience than you.

• Talk about hygiene

  The plumbing in my apartment is so bad that I actually stay cleaner when I don't shower.

• Talk about travel

  When I had my van I traveled anywhere I pleased, whenever I pleased... but usually when the police were chasing me.

• Talk about the world

  People say Mars is colder than Earth. Is that true? Dang, I want to get off this stinking hot planet.

• Gossip

  You know, I could tell you a thing or two about Detective Dan D. Mann and his obsession with hats. But for my own sake, I won't.

• Talk about crime

  I wouldn't call the old me a criminal exactly... just a misguided perpetrator of malicious deeds.

• Talk about exercise

  The only exercise I need comes from my job. I wouldn't be caught dead in a track suit or sweat pants!

• Flirt

  I am flattered, but in all honesty, I have that effect on most women.

• Talk about the museum

  If you're going to leave a building like that unguarded, you should fill it with expensive things!

• Kiss (refused)

  Sorry girl, but your breath smells worse than my mom's homemade sauerkraut.

• Talk about the carnival

  I tried to hook up with the carnival last year but they said I was too creepy to join. Too CREEPY? Man, forget them!

• Brag

  That's right, buddy. Talk yourself up. Make people jealous. That's the only way to earn respect.

• Rude gesture

  Is that the new gesture? Dang! Why doesn't anybody tell me these things?

• Talk about home decor

  It might surprise you to know that I am an avid collector of still-life paintings and sculptures.

• Talk about the coffee shop

  I've seen people drink so much coffee in this town that they start chewing OTHER people's fingernails.

• Tease

  Good move. A little friendly teasing will earn you friends. And say things like "You talking to me?" and "Do I amuse you?"

• Talk about graveyards

  The graveyard is a great place to hide. Trust me on this one. There are so many secret nooks, crannies, and passages.

• Talk about the bayou

  Last time I went there I was stung by mosquitoes, bit by a snake, and chased by a giant catfish, so don't remind me.

• Talk about books

  I spent some time in prison last year, and while I was there I read every book in the prison library. All three of them.

• Talk about nature

  I don't have an opinion about nature. I mean, it's there, you know. What more can you say?

• Talk about sports

  Heck yeah! Nothing better than going to a game, eating snacks and drinking drinks, and falling asleep in the hot sun.

• Talk about movies

  I just got a phone call the other day... Some director wants to make my life story into a film!

• Talk about the market

  Whenever I go to the flea market people stare at me like I'm going to steal something! What do I look like... a thief!?

• Talk about rep groups

  Shhh! Keep a lid on all that. I'm not supposed to get involved with any group. It's part of my parole agreement.

• Talk about the cosmos

  I try not to think about things like that. Every time I look into the night sky I feel like I'm about to fall off the planet.

• Tell a bad pun

  You crazy son of a rooster. Where'd you hear that one?

• Piss him off too much

  Not today, kid. Today you're dead to me. You hear that?

• Ask him to move in

  Forget you, buddy. I got my own place and my own life.

Other Relevant In-game Quotes

• Orange Pedestal (description of the gift from Giuseppi)

  Similar to a still-life painting, but in THREE dimensions! Delight your friends and relatives with this juicy item. Aesthetic fun from any angle!

Notes

1. This is a positive interaction.