Dialogue from The Urbz
A collection of Giuseppi's dialogue in The Urbz: Sims in the City.
Hey, I'm Giuseppi Mezzoalto. Have we met somewhere before? My memory is hazy... ever since I got out of the SimValley slammer, I've tried my darndest to forget my past.
- Talk about art
Yeah I know about art! I've handled all kinds of masterpieces, from paintings to sculpture to... ah, never mind.
- Talk about sleeping
I sleep light and with one eye open. I had to, growing up with 4 brothers. They could be mean, I tell ya.
That was good, but a better one would be: You're so dumb you sold your van for gas money.
- Talk about construction
I think working construction is going to be my next career move. I mean, I already know how to lift things.
- Talk about cooking
Let me tell you something: my poppa, he made the worlds greatest strawberry tiramisu. The way he mixed strawberries, vanilla, and flour together, you'd think he had a magic wand!
- Talk about the law
It seems like there are two sets of laws in this city: The ones that apply to me and the ones that apply to everyone else.
Whoa, look at that! You can make money just disappear! I used to be good at that too.
- Cheer up
What on earth could you say that would cheer me up when there are people starving in this city? People like me!
You're funny to me, kid. You amuse me. You make me laugh. Ha. See, I'm laughing.
- Talk about theatre
I haven't been there in years. I thought that building was a yoga center.
- Talk about ninjas
Yes, I have seen the ninja. We met in the darkness of night. But without saying a word, the ninja vanished.
- Talk about simoleons
If there's one good thing I learned from my past it was saving money. If there were two things I learned, the second was how to spend it.
- Talk about aliens
I know for a fact that aliens might exist. Okay, so I'm dodging the question. But it's true.
- Talk about the supernatural
It's good to believe in a higher power, yeah? I mean, if this life is all there is, man, I'm asking for my money back.
- Talk about hobbies
I've been trying to find a hobby I enjoy for years. I mean a legal one. So far, no good.
Hey! What are you doing, kid! Never apologize! Otherwise you'll never perfect your Moogoo Monkey face.
- Talk about the weather
Have we stooped so low that we have to talk about the weather? Shame on us [Player Sim].
- Call name
That's a good start, kid. But if you really want to insult someone you have to talk about his appearance or his mamma.
- Talk about dancing
What, are you kidding me? I'm no wind up toy!
- Talk about music
In high school I was in a band called "Show Cancelled". We were good, but for some reason nobody ever came to watch us.
- Give an opinion
You have a good point there. I never thought of comparing life to a box of chocolates, but that sounds okay.
Yo! What are you trying to do fool? Get my head knocked in? You show any sign of kindness and the thugs in this town will pounce!
- Talk about shopping
The best shopping tool I know is the old five finger discount, know what I'm saying? Of course... that's why I went to jail.
Knock that off! Get that finger out of your nose! You got to intimidate people, not gross them out!
- Talk about jobs
In my opinion learning Moogoo Monkey is the best career option in town.
- Talk about science
The only invention worth anything was the forklift. Everything after that was just an upgrade.
- Tell a secret
It warms my heart that you can trust me so much. Sadly, I can't say the same. But never mind that.
Aw, come on! Don't be ridiculous! Stop it already!
- Talk about the university
I decided not to go to college after I found out they didn't offer a "Secret Agent" degree.
- Talk about the river
It's a river. So what? You think maybe I dumped something in there? Some money maybe? Get out of here!
- Talk about jail
I did a stint in jail last year after some kid caught me... uh... rearranging my friend's apartment.
- Talk about cars
I used to own a van. She was a real beauty. I named her Tristam. Oh the times we had before the bank repossessed her.
You're getting the hang of it! Now growl! Make me believe you're fierce. That you don't take nothing from nobody!
- Talk about work
I'm an official mover these days, but to earn a little extra cash I do a few... what should I call them? Side-projects?
- Talk about the lounge
The Casino is where it all goes down, you know what I'm saying? Crazy mad things happening in that place.
- Talk about TV
I spent more time carrying televisions than I do watching them which is fine by me. You can't get paid to watch TV.
- Talk about games
I like the simple games, you know? Cards, dice, water polo, easy stuff.
- Talk about health
I haven't been to a doctor or a dentist in 10 years. But who cares! I feel great.
- Talk about home
I'd rather not tell you where I live. It's an embarrassing little hole for one, and two, I don't want you bugging me.
- Talk about computers
I know a thing or two about computers, yeah. I know how much they sell for. But can I use one? Forget about it!
- Talk about the newspaper
Ever since my face appeared on the front of that paper I haven't had any desire to read it. Bah!
- Talk about politics
C'mon! Really? Am I a bigger crook than the crazy people that run this town? I don't think so!
You dopey amateur! I've seen squirrels with more patience than you.
- Talk about hygiene
The plumbing in my apartment is so bad that I actually stay cleaner when I don't shower.
- Talk about travel
When I had my van I traveled anywhere I pleased, whenever I pleased... but usually when the police were chasing me.
- Talk about the world
People say Mars is colder than Earth. Is that true? Dang, I want to get off this stinking hot planet.
You know, I could tell you a thing or two about Detective Dan D. Mann and his obsession with hats. But for my own sake, I won't.
- Talk about crime
I wouldn't call the old me a criminal exactly... just a misguided perpetrator of malicious deeds.
- Talk about exercise
The only exercise I need comes from my job. I wouldn't be caught dead in a track suit or sweat pants!
I am flattered, but in all honesty, I have that effect on most women.
- Talk about the museum
If you're going to leave a building like that unguarded, you should fill it with expensive things!
- Kiss (refused)
Sorry girl, but your breath smells worse than my mom's homemade sauerkraut.
- Talk about the carnival
I tried to hook up with the carnival last year but they said I was too creepy to join. Too CREEPY? Man, forget them!
That's right, buddy. Talk yourself up. Make people jealous. That's the only way to earn respect.
- Rude gesture
Is that the new gesture? Dang! Why doesn't anybody tell me these things?
- Talk about home decor
It might surprise you to know that I am an avid collector of still-life paintings and sculptures.
- Talk about the coffee shop
I've seen people drink so much coffee in this town that they start chewing OTHER people's fingernails.
Good move. A little friendly teasing will earn you friends. And say things like "You talking to me?" and "Do I amuse you?"
- Talk about graveyards
The graveyard is a great place to hide. Trust me on this one. There are so many secret nooks, crannies, and passages.
- Talk about the bayou
Last time I went there I was stung by mosquitoes, bit by a snake, and chased by a giant catfish, so don't remind me.
- Talk about books
I spent some time in prison last year, and while I was there I read every book in the prison library. All three of them.
- Talk about nature
I don't have an opinion about nature. I mean, it's there, you know. What more can you say?
- Talk about sports
Heck yeah! Nothing better than going to a game, eating snacks and drinking drinks, and falling asleep in the hot sun.
- Talk about movies
I just got a phone call the other day... Some director wants to make my life story into a film!
- Talk about the market
Whenever I go to the flea market people stare at me like I'm going to steal something! What do I look like... a thief!?
- Talk about rep groups
Shhh! Keep a lid on all that. I'm not supposed to get involved with any group. It's part of my parole agreement.
- Talk about the cosmos
I try not to think about things like that. Every time I look into the night sky I feel like I'm about to fall off the planet.
- Tell a bad pun
You crazy son of a rooster. Where'd you hear that one?
- Piss him off too much
Not today, kid. Today you're dead to me. You hear that?
- Ask him to move in
Forget you, buddy. I got my own place and my own life.
- Orange Pedestal (description of the gift from Giuseppi)
Similar to a still-life painting, but in THREE dimensions! Delight your friends and relatives with this juicy item. Aesthetic fun from any angle!
- This is a positive interaction.